Have you ever had one of those moments when you suddenly become aware of yourself? You're jumpstarted into the present moment for some or other reason and realize you're doing something weird, strange or out of character. Whether it's from fear, shock, adrenalin, change, excitement or the like, you forget about whatever you were thinking, doing or feeling, and are absolutely focused on right now. It's an interesting experience.

Interesting perhaps because it makes me wonder about my chemistry, my purpose or my image. Interesting too because I'm totally aware of myself. I always feel different when I become aware of myself. I know that I look the same and think more or less the same, but somehow I feel that I'm different in every moment. It's not that I've simply got a range of moods, of states or whatever, it's that I never feel like I've felt before. It's like I feel something once, then the next time I feel that way I also feel like I've felt that way before...and in that the feeling is coupled with memories and thoughts of the past, the future and the present moment which isn't quite the same as before.

I realize that what I'm feeling is the effect of progress, the effect of change. Whether or not I like the experience of change is irrelevant to the fact that I'm experiencing it anyway, and will experience it again. So basically change is the constant thing about my life. I've learnt to embrace it and use change to my advantage by accepting that it's always happening and it's never exactly the same. I practically can't avoid learning things now. Only now I am in control of how I'm using that knowledge, information and understanding.

So as I said, it's interesting becoming aware of myself. You should try it some time.